Quote:
Originally Posted by gayleggg
Yes, I knew my husband had a hobby before I married him. I just didn't realize until after we were married that it was an obsession. The obsession won. We're still married but live separate lives. There's no love left because he quit giving time to the relationship. That's the short version, but I agree they don't change after marriage. I saw it but ignored the impact it would have over the long run. We've been married 15 years. Two happily.
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Sounds familiar. My husband is a gamer. Spends 16+ hours on the computer when he's home. He's a sailor, so for the other three weeks he's out to sea. He was sweet the first year. Being a co-dependent makes me feel alone whether he's in the house or not. I'm the cook, coffee deliverer and booty call. My self esteem is at an all time low, I'm not working and I'm "worthless" but when I do he gets obsessive. This is not healthy, for me or struggling with bipolar. (He knew that going in). I don't think I can last 16 years, but my material needs are met by him. Hard to leave with nothing but it could be the best thing I can do for myself. I'm isolated to the point of no friends, and yet I'm the one making myself a victim by staying. I hope you find happiness, separate and healthy, even within your marriage, if it can't be that. I saw the red flags 12 years ago - and ignored them too.