Quote:
Originally Posted by JosieTheGirl
Yeah that bit of clarification is necessary if that was what you meant, but hardly where the sweatpants comparison started I have to mention. Because if you were indicating women in that situation, though I'm pretty sure you weren't, that would be different. If someone can't deal with basic hygiene it's kind of a different discussion point.
no, maybe a woman just doesn't want to talk to someone who smells and can't keep themselves together. This is a different point. I don't want to talk to someone like that.
Yeah, but you seem to take that inherent propensity [it's kind of a biologically derived tendency we have to "group things"] and seriously level it up.
But with all these comments you have greatly changed the nature of your point and argument. Difference between "not showing off" or not putting a huge amount of effort into their clothing choice and "looking like crap"/"looking like a slob" is huge, but you've lumped all this together for some reason.
Some with your thing about how you initially just said sweatpants and tank- but now it's if a person is dirty and smelly. I know this is a bit off topic, but I kind of wanted to address that.
I think this is kind of an interesting but important discussion, particularly in the relationship board- many people assume there is one way to interact and attract people, or to date, or to "present themselves". I think a lot of people become discouraged because they are constantly changing this ideal or that which may be assumed is THE KEY to happiness in finding someone compatible, so a discussion like this is good not only for the OP but in general.
The only thing is that when you change your points in mid-conversation it's sort of difficult to make it a reasonable discussion.
I'm still working with that point, actually.
Your assumption is that I'm not.
I don't actually know what the OP looks for in a mate, and neither do you so everything we've talked about could be moot. But it's pretty clear we come from opposite corners of the room.
Back to attraction- my point in a lot of this is: why would you look to attract someone who wouldn't be compatible with you? So "upping your game", in a way that is not characteristic of you typically, would be more likely to backfire down the line.
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After reading his clarification and responses together to your original response I have to say I was about to say pretty much the same things. The original reply sounded much less about taking care of yourself, having confidence and carrying yourself well than it did about appearing as something you're not.
As I said in my OP reply, I said if you wear perfume, by all means keep wearing it, but also if you like jogging pants then do that also. BE yourself but carry it well and be happy with what you are. That will translate much more to attraction of men/women than anything superficial you can do.
If you're a construction worker, a craftsman or other type of hard labor working man, you might be caught out and about on your lunch or otherwise all grungy and maybe borderline smelly. Truth be told, some women may even be attracted to that, and frankly that's the woman you want.. you're gonna come home to her all dirty and gross, she better appreciate it or like it. That's an extreme case but valid IMO..
Again, this is not an encouragement to let yourself go. That goes against being confident having self worth and carrying yourself well so.... No matter what you are, how you are or what your preferences in dress code is, be content in what you are and you'll have people attracted to you.