. . .seems simple enough. I'm totally alone. My children are with their father and I don't have a soul around. I hate being alone. I just want to fall asleep but I can't. I just sit on the couch, flipping through channels and thoughts in my brain.

My mind, what a curse. I seems to logically know what I should and shouldn't do. I just want a mind eraser or find someone to fill this cavern. I wonder why people don't call me? I wonder why I don't have a friend in this world. The only people I do have are my kids and they are gone for the time being. Oh, my parent did call tonight but I hadn't heard a peep since the kids have been gone.

Why now? Why tonight? It's been six days. . .I just don't get it. I guess I don't know how to be in any type of relationship. I either say too much or not enough. I let all the walls down or build them higher. I can't get it right. . .