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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
In your stating that it's very adolescent is somewhat accurate but says nothing to the idea that what it is, is a need to be promiscuous and that's not something "natural" in any way. If a man loves a woman, the need to have sex with other women should not even be on their mind.
Red flag #1. he's already cheated on someone. So you know he's capable of doing so.
Red flag #2. He admits to wanting to have casual sex while saying he loves you.
This to me just is saying he is the type of man that wants to have his cake and eat it too. he wants to keep you as a so called lover but wants to play around in the field. There is no reason for you to think that this will ever end.
He shows signs of being an adulterous male. Do you really want to continue when he feels the need to find sexual satisfaction from women other than you?
As a 46 yr old male, I personally have no need to have sex with anyone to the point of needing it casually. I personally find it strange to want to have intimate relations with a female that I'm not involved with on a deeper level... I must be in a relationship first. Once in a relationship I have no need or desire to have sex with other women and this is not due to my age, I never did at any age feel the need for 'casual sex". That says more about character than it does about his age, maturity or even gender. Men don't all "need" to have sex with multiple women because they are male. that's just bullsh*
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I would have to disagree with this as it is a very narrow point of view. There are many types of relationships out there that are successful but not traditional and what works for me won't work for him and won't work for her. Open relationships and exclusive relationships can both be successful as long as both participants are open and honest about what they want. Heck 10 years ago online dating was dubbed as weird.
You said he got involved with 2 marriages very early in his life so he never had time to date. This is something that everyone needs to experience - The thrill of new encounters, new personalities, not knowing what the next date will bring. Sewing your wild oats I believe is the expression. Also some people just are not inclined to be monogamous. Its just the way they are wired. You can't paint everyone with the same brush and the refusal to accept that there are people out there who's view of relationships are outside what is considered normal is one of the things that contributes to higher divorce rate.
People are realizing that they want to be happy but also that their idea of happy may not conform to everyone else's. This is important because in order to make someone happy you need to be happy yourself.
With that said if he is not done experiencing life and you give him an ultimatum then it could lead to another failed relationship for him and you. My advice would be to wait it out if you think he is worth it. If not then better to move on and look for happiness elsewhere. WHatever the decision then a talk with him would be a good idea so that you are both on the same page.