Onlymedid, It sounds like you are used to tormenting yourself? I mean you know your mother has cancer but seemed to want to press her into "punishing" You? You seem to have to justify why only you can take care of your mother and not the others in the family?

It seems you are about to do something that is positive in your life, move in with someone you care about? but feel guilty for doing it?

Its ok to do something for you. Over here we have the macmillon nurses that take good care of cancer patients. I'm sure there is someone that will make sure your mother gets the help she requires?

Its ok to move away and live your life. All we can do is the best we can do. I'd make enquires about what help is avaliable for your mother but it doens't have to be all on your shoulders.

Good luck!