I just cant talk to my mother She was hounding me for not trying to go to college I was telling her it was because I just feel a lack of motivation and I am not good at math I barely passed it my dad always made me feel like a idiot and inferior when I asked for help with home work but my mum says its my fault for being depressed its my fault for being unmotivated and its my fault I didnt let him help me with my math.but the reason I didnt let him help me was because of the way he treated me!it hurt me.and my lack of motivation is not because I am lazy or dont care its because of my schizophrenia and depression but yet they call me lazy.they always conspire against me my mum is always defending my dad even though he was drunk most of my childhood and physically and mentally abused me when he was drinking its almost like I am the one being blamed for the way I turned out because neither of them are mature enough to admit that they had a hand in the way I am.they made my mental illness much worse.they made me feel like everything is my fault when anything goes wrong I am the one they question and blame because neither of them can ever be wrong or at fault.its my fault I am bad at math its my fault I have schizophrenia its my fault for laying in bed from depression its my fault for wanting to abuse myself and cut myself and burn myself.its all my fault according to them.