ozzie's suggestion is a good one ... write down what your issues are and ask him to do the same ... my husband says he is willing to go to therapy ... it's his effort to keep us together ... i'm not so sure it's going to work but i guess at least he is willing ...hope it's not just prolonging the unavoidable... time will tell ... you explanation of your H "cycle"... that's my H... he is in his loving cycle now then becomes very complacent he's satisfied with mediocracy ... guess i'm not ... anyway good luck with your therapy ... hang in there!