I want to give in, in an extreme way. I want to see all the gore, all the torn tissue, all the blood oozing out. I want to lay limp with exhaustion after the cutting session. Simple blood and cuts don't do it for me.So what's stopping me? The need is so great, my whole body is trembling with the need to release it. I want to stay in one place all months long and just sit and carve and tear and destroy. Until there is nothing more to destroy. It's the only time i can actually feel something other then sadness