I am still new to this and in the process of getting my diagnosis in place, but so far the hardest part has been admitting to myself and those around me that, after all the years I spent studying psychology in college, a psychotic break could actually happen to me and admitting that I actually lost control of proper brain function. The other thing is getting used to medication. I don't mind taking it everyday since I am used to taking birth control each day and I know it's for my own good, but the side effects of being sleepy all the time and not being able to focus and not being as quick as I used to be. Being "smart" and a "good student" have always been a big part of my identity, since I am not "hot" or well-dressed and I've never really been athletic. But at least I can still feed the psychology part of my identity, even if my grades slip. I hope to blog and write about Bipolar after I get my own situation figured out.