Quote:
Originally Posted by secretwhisper
I have horrible looking arms. They are scarred and ugly. And yet I can't seem to stop adding to them. I say that my arms are horrible, I hate to look at them and I hate other people to see them, but that isn't enough to stop me. My T asks me why I do it when I hate it so much, why I add to the scars when they disgust me so much. But I just can't seem to help myself.
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I feel so badly for you Secretwhisper. I have some idea of what you're going through, although my self-abusive behaviors have not left visible scars.
I have to say that, from my perspective, your T asking why you keep cutting when you hate the scars so much, demonstrates a lack of understanding with regard to what's going on. Would it make sense to ask alcoholics why they keep drinking if they don't like what it's doing to their lives? Would it make sense to ask the same question of heroin addicts?
It's just my opinion, but I think of self-abuse as a form of addiction. We don't do it because we've thought about it & decided that it's worth the scars. We do it because we have to... because the compulsion to self-harm is so overwhelming that we cannot not do it. Perhaps what is needed is a program such as Alcoholics Anonymous... "Self-abusers Anonymous". Maybe something like that already exists? I'm not aware of anything where I live.
