you know what I've found in the short time I've been self aware. Nobody believes me when I tell the truth about who I am LOL! I told my friend, "hey I am a lying piece of crap and think I'm better then you and avoid your phone calls and texts when you need help." I went into full detail and he just kept saying nah man that's not you...... people these days! so dumb!

but anyways, I don't think they will understand. I am having a hard time now because I'm admitting all this and nobody wants to believe it. I even have people saying "everyone is like that in a way" they don't understand how deep it stems and how you cannot choose to not do it unless you stop yourself.

P.S.
probably a bad idea to ask narcissists anyways. I do everything with a motive, an angle, and I mean I even posted this with hope in some kind of sick twisted way to smash your dreams and make myself seem better. I am just saying if you REALLY want to change you need to go get help and actually MAKE yourself do it. I am trying to change myself but damn, I am perfect, and always right. But then, completely wrong, and imperfect at the same time LOL!