I understand what you are going through. My wife and I have had physical problems over the past few years and my wife says that she has grown to not "Need" sex. She's told me that if we are to have sex, I need to romance her into it, get her in the mood. Between her needing to being worked into being aroused, and me needing to take a Viagra to keep it up (my penis and scrotum are numb), it is virtually impossible to match up our arousal patterns. She says going to a nice meal or spa together helps, and that having some wine also helps. But she says that she's good to go within 30 minutes of having wine. Problem is if we are in a restaurant having the wine, it takes more than 30 minutes to pay and get home, in which time I need at least 30 minutes for the "little blue pill" to take effect.

I've been told recently to "stop trying to have sex". It's been over 7 months since we last had sex, and I becoming less and less assertive myself since it doesn't get me anything other than disappointment.