Sometimes it helps to describe my pain, or forbidden subject, by talking as if I'm describing someone else. I can say the child part of me feels this or that while keeping the dignity of my adult self. That saves face and avoids humiliation.
As for writing things out for T to read, I know it helps some people, but I feel it's the same as telling him/her and can't write it if I can't say it. Be patient with yourself.
There are many "magic" words survivors have, which seem electrified with dangerous current. So, it takes time to get used to saying and admitting traumatic things that happened.