Ambra, I'm sorry you are so torn. I think you should contact her and get this out in the open. She is there to help you. I doubt there is anything you can tell her that will surprise her. Let her help you through the terrible patch of pain. It's the only way you are going to be free of it. She offered to help, let her. I worked with counselors for a long time and never did I hear one say they wish that patient would not come back. They just wanted to help and make a difference. Please call her.