Well the thing is I never express that to him that way. I never say "well you don't do this" I've brought up the question of why it's not as often, etc, and he's just stated it's because I go to bed too late and he's tired or he doesn't know I want to, etc. Lame things. As far as dinner, he gets dinner made for him every night, doesn't like back rubs, and i usually do lounge around in night gowns, other things that aren't something i'd wear if we had company over. So since i'm never critical of him as far as "you don't do this, this is bad, etc" I'm not sure why it would fall on me. I even just out right asked him before why he doesn't do the deed for me, and he's stated that he never knew I wanted something like that...

It's just silly. I don't really get it. I do get frustrated that I don't make enough money to cover more that I want and it seems like he doesn't really care. As long as what he wants and needs are taken care of i can wait. This has even come down to my health where I need extensive teeth work done and he told me December, well December came around and he had to help someone with a bill for months now we've been paying this other bill for someone else (A time share of all things, how responsible of this other person), meanwhile my health gets put on the back burner, then I get told May, now i get told i'll have to wait even longer because he bought a house, WE, i say we because without my money he wouldn' tbe able to do these things, help the other person or buy a house, ( a house we can' teven use mind you it's 12 hours away we can only vacation to it for now a few times a year). Yet, my health is still lacking. I'm in pain everyday due to my teeth and it's extremely stressful and makes it hard to get along with him on top of everything else.

He even at one point stated he'd get care credit so he couold help me get on a payment plan with them knowing my credit is bad but then seems to be completely disinterested in that, and others have said maybe because he's afraid i'll bail and leave him with the payment, but after 2 years if i haven't bailed yet and i've left ALL my family in another state, and all my friends, i have absolutely no one here, why would I bail now? I guess overall my frustration comes from that... No family in the area, friends, job i'm not happy with because it doesn't let me exceed, nothing. I feel like i litearlly have nothing here and i'm 30 and I have nothing in my name, nothing i'm happy about, nothing to do around here, and it's just very blah. I'm lonely as hell most the time and just try not to feel bad for myself because it doesn't help but alot of times I just sit in my office and cry, because i feel me and him aren't where we should be relationship wise, i have all this medical problems i gotta deal with, i miss my family and because of this new vacation house and because of money now i won't be able to see them like i thought i'd be able to in june, it's just frustrating..

I wish he understood my frustration and i wish we connected better sexually because I know he can be a very sexual person i just felt he's always held back witih me since i've been with him. I don't want to do this forever like this, somethings gotta change and seems the talking doesn't help.