I'm glad to see you are seeing a therapist, where you can have that one-to-one time with someone. That usually helps. Sounds like you may need quite a bit of help. Overcoming these fears is not going to be easy.

Don't worry about not being able to kiss properly. You'll learn quickly once you give it a try. The trick is picking a guy that is laid back and patient, so that you don't feel rushed to do anything.

I hope you find your way. Relationships can be a great thing to have and enjoy. wishng you the best.