My session yesterday was hard. I read to my T the angry letter I wrote to my mother who abused me badly. I got through it okay, but now I feel numb and still unable to cry. I'm waiting for the dam to break. I'm even listening to sad songs to make myself cry, but I can't. My body aches all over.

I get suicidal when my emotions go crazy and I'm holding a lot of anger inside. I know my T is concerned (I can read his body language). but he couldn't get me back in until late June. Now I'm stranded. I don't want to burden my friends and my husband is not much help at all, so I don't share much with him anymore. I'm on a the edge, so to speak. I'm asking myself "should I stay, or should I go?"

All that I have right now are you guys.