Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightside of Eden
It sounds to me like your friend may have unrealistic expectations of you. It's unfair and unrealistic to expect our friends to be interested in every aspect of our lives, and it sounds like your friend is expecting everyone to be interested in and excited about her pregnancy. For example, I work repairing computers and my best friend is a total techno-phobe. She's glad I enjoy what I do and that it's going well for me, but has zero interest in hearing about the improved RAM efficiency in Mavericks. It would be disrespectful of me to prattle on about techy stuff to her and expect her to be interested. Likewise, it's disrespectful of your friend to expect you to be excited about a baby when you have no interest in babies.
Frankly, I think your friend is the one who sounds selfish and self-involved.
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I don't know that from her post I could go as far as saying she's being disrespectful. I see something else going on here. For a long time she has been dependent on this friend for a lot of things, and now that is threatened. so on the OP's part she's having trouble dealing with the fear of what's to come. I'm not saying she's wrong either but just that it seems like that's affecting their interactions.
The pregnant friend is not necessarily being unrealistic. She did not say "you should be excited, appreciate kids" etc, but that she'd like her friend to be more happy for her having a child. That's not unreasonable. That's not asking her to start loving kids or anything but just be happy something good is happening in her life.
Her friend also mentioned not being able to handle all of it right now. Apparently she feels that the OP depends so much on her that she is feeling a lot of pressure and being pregnant most women are very low on resources and are not typically as available mentally and emotionally to others. Having been through 3 pregnancies, I can vouch for the fact that women that are pregnant need more emotional and mental support and typically cannot give as much. That's what her friend is voicing, as I see it anyway.
I don't see her friend as being selfish and self absorbed, but pregnant. It messes with women's entire being for 9 months and sometimes longer.. their hormones are off, they're dealing with 2 people. Their focus does go inward and it's not something I'd ever judge of a pregnant woman.
Also, I don't see either person being selfish or unreasonable here but that they are facing a new phase in their relationship and it's changing. It's inevitable that it's going to change and it's scary for the OP, which is understandable. both the pregnant friend and the OP are dealing with stress from various things and it's affecting their relationship. I don't see ither of them being inherently wrong or ba d in the relationship.