I think you are right and need to spend more alone time, whether it's cuddling, talking over dinner or taking a walk. I don't think you are being unreasonable. It seems to me your wife has intamacy problems. Counseling might help but I doubt she would be willing for that.

I agree I wouldn't want my baby to have her ex-husbands name either. That's just wrong.(My personal opinion)

I think the woman you love is not being empathetic toward how you feel and I don't see her changing. Maybe you can see how things go when you move into your own place, that might help. Otherwise, you are going to have to decide if you can live and be happy with this woman.