I did not take the meds from him yet. I dont want to lie. I am not a dishonest person; or I try not to be. I hate to lie, its wrong. Its just an idea I had so he would think I am okay. I can't go in the hosptial right now, this is what I am fighting. I need help; but.........
I am battling this in my head and can't make sense of it.
I am fighting these people that want to help.
I am so afraid of what is to come.
I am so afraid of my ex and what he is capable of.
But if I don't get help, its my own fault when I do loss my kids.
But I am going to loss them. Thats just fact. My depression, my unstability, my stupidity, my weakness did this. I am a failure and I know that; maybe thats the reason to my stuborn stupidity. I am not sure. Am I destroying myself on purpose?????????
Who knows? Not me because I don't even make sense to myself.
Thanks. itsjustme