The pregnant friend is not necessarily being unrealistic. She did not say "you should be excited, appreciate kids" etc, but that she'd like her friend to be more happy for her having a child. That's not unreasonable. That's not asking her to start loving kids or anything but just be happy something good is happening in her life.

Her friend also mentioned not being able to handle all of it right now. Apparently she feels that the OP depends so much on her that she is feeling a lot of pressure and being pregnant most women are very low on resources and are not typically as available mentally and emotionally to others. Having been through 3 pregnancies, I can vouch for the fact that women that are pregnant need more emotional and mental support and typically cannot give as much. That's what her friend is voicing, as I see it anyway.

I don't see her friend as being selfish and self absorbed, but pregnant. It messes with women's entire being for 9 months and sometimes longer.. their hormones are off, they're dealing with 2 people. Their focus does go inward and it's not something I'd ever judge of a pregnant woman.

Also, I don't see either person being selfish or unreasonable here but that they are facing a new phase in their relationship and it's changing. It's inevitable that it's going to change and it's scary for the OP, which is understandable. both the pregnant friend and the OP are dealing with stress from various things and it's affecting their relationship. I don't see ither of them being inherently wrong or ba d in the relationship.