First time on the forum. If I've broken etiquette or anything I apologize and please don't be too harsh on this first time poster.

I will try to keep it neat and not ramble on, but I am fairly stressed and am unsure on what to do, say, or think..

I guess a short background. I come from a broken family where my dad was extremely violent with my physically and emotionally. For some reason only me and not my younger brother or his girlfriends children. Needless to say it has left me with a couple issues that I try to keep out of everyday life.

Me and my girlfriend are expecting our first child. We both have one from a previous relationship. She is from Germany and I am from Canada. She wanted to be closer to her family for the child as I have no contact with my family aside from my brother, so we moved to Germany.

As in any relationship we have plenty of issues especially both having our own children, and coming from differing cultures.

We are staying with her parents till the baby arrives before going to the town we reside in.

Now I feel we have been having issues for some time now with intimacy and just spending time together at all. The earlier part of my day is spent in a language course before my work starts in August. When I come home she will sit there while I eat saying little to nothing some days or doing her own thing. She calls this spending time together and if I prompt her for anything else I get things like "Couples don't have to do things or say anything to be spending time together". Till recently I let it fly but it makes me feel very uncomfortable, she doesn't eat as she eats with her daughter before dropping her off at daycare for the afternoon. Then after my meal she will go and rest till her daughter is done or her mother wants to spend time with her(she will then proceed to go snuggle with her mother sometimes in bed). Also in the morning she will sometimes get up and go past me without saying much if anything and go lay in bed with her daughter and snuggle.

After her daughter is in bed on a rare occasion we will watch a show but mostly it is her time for herself.

Whenever I try to tell her how I feel I have heard reactions like "I think you're jealous" despite me saying no i will turn into an angry assertion and then a fight.. Or you seem angry/depressed/bummed/pissed. If I say no again it turns into an assertion. I am an introverted individual, an INTP for you familiar with the tests. She is very feelly especially when it comes to her mother or daughter. If it comes to me or her father it is a completely different thing and very seldom will she listen to how I feel about anything and if she does she is critical of it and until recently blames it on nonsense or my difficult past etc.

Recently I was upset. We are both apprentices here and due to our finances are unable to afford childcare. She sought it from the government and part of it requires that we cannot be living together. This is very hard for me, also in German culture it would be very unusual for our child to not have her last name which is still the married name she had from her marriage(she is now divorced). This upset me greatly as my child will take her ex husbands last name, and I tried talking about it a couple times for some form of closure as it hurts me thinking about it. She brushed it off both times. The last time I was about done with everything and said I was thinking about leaving. Brought up how little time we spent together etc and she just didn't want to talk about it. She used things like me being upset or sad about it was bringing her down and was using it as an excuse to distance herself from me.

Am I in the wrong? Is there something I'm not looking at? I feel it is important for a couple to spend time together just them from time to time. Her mother and daughter cuddle in bed together together and separately but when I want something similar I am shunned... I don't feel having her there awkwardly while I eat after class is spending time together, nor think that is enough for a successful relationship.

Any thoughts would be appreciate as this is very stressful and I just don't know if I should give up and try to move on and find some happiness and middle ground for myself or if I am being completely selfish and not very empathetic towards the woman I am in love with.