I think it's great that you've reached out for help and support! So many people go through their entire lives just holding everything in. But, in my experience, this doesn't really work. You are lucky to be so young and already trying to make things better! So many of us don't even try until later in life when much of our lives have already passed us by! I'm new here, too, of course, and I think that you can find a lot of support here on the forum! (Well, you've been kind to me, I know that!) A lot of the time people in our lives just don't understand, so it is so helpful to be able to go online and find others who can identify with what we're going through. Please don't ever give up, don't ever lose hope, and don't ever stop pushing forward!