Well then obviously you and I (and others on this thread it would seem) have very differing views on the term judgmental...

I wasn't judging her choices, (I even mentioned I made the same one a few years ago) nor was I judging her emotional reaction, I simply stated (from my own experience) what I percieved the root to be. i.e, convincing ourselves we're ok with a certain arrangement, when our actions scream otherwise.

Truth is, if someone is really and honestly perfectly ok with their partner having multiple partners, then it would be a non issue, because there's no reason to feel jealous or insecure. I personally know 2 men with multiple wives and as far as I know, the wives live in harmony and don't have issues of jealousy or insecurity surrounding eachother... The one guy, his 2 wives are actually best friends, and the first wife recommended the second to her hubby.

But just because some of us are ok with the idea of it, because we're open minded, (as discussed, not everyone is naturally monogamous) doesn't mean you're ok with personally living the reality of it...

If you or the OP finds that judgy, well then so be it, I've said my peace and clarified incase I was somehow unclear in my writing.