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Originally Posted by junestarlit
We started talking online spoke for about 5 months before I moved out here to be with him. We've lived with eachother for a year and a half. July will be 2 years that we've "known" eachother. We had bad and good throughout the whole time. He's just very stubborn when i do express things to him or acts like he understands then nothing changes. He says he loves me and acts like we're this small family but if that were the case he'd care more about how i feel with things and make an effort other than the effort he's made before i even came out here. I've given up everything to be here and that doesn't even phase him. I got told in may we'd visit my family, just like my teeth, are we? No. No money because we got a house we can't use. So, can't see family. Then we tell my family to visit the new house in July, then he comes back with a "we might not be able to go in july" Ok. WHEN The hell will i be able to get my teeth fixed so i'm outta constant pain and when the hell will i be able to see my family again? I tell him how lonely I am here all day at work with nothing to do and no one around and he starts talking to me less thoruhgout the day. It's just i could go on and on about the things that aggravate me and that make me question the same if he means it when he says he loves me. Like hsi "We don't have money to do this" Then we eat out twice and buy this and buy this... Why? Because the things i'm asking for or want (To rephrase that since i don'te ver ask for anything) , aren't important to -him-. He just wants me to ride along and be okay with everything he does and be happy he's happy and not have a mind or life of my own or meaning to my life of my own.
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As this thread progresses and your description expands, into more detail I'm getting more and more convince this guy is really not good for you. The fact that he let you move all the way out there and now has changed his tune and is doing nothing to help you or let you see your family etc, etc, ummm seems like it could be borderline a controlling person that you're with. Typically in an abusive situation the first thing the abuser will do is isolate the victim from friends and family. Then all support and love and everything that was used to lure them in is dropped.
i'm not saying he is abusive, but I am saying he seems to have those tendencies and part of the "chase" for him, assuming it's not an abusive situation you're heading toward, is gone. Without the need to chase and appeal to you to keep you around he's lost motivation to actually accomodate you in the most basic sense he's very selfish and only does things when it serves his purposes.