Hi, I'm partlycloudy and kind of new here. You are not a failure in any sense! You're getting help, you're protective of your children, you are doing the right things.

I have a friend who is in a very difficult place because it's not only hard for her to ask for help, it's hard for her to open up and own up to her pain. So she is not getting the treatment she so desperately needs. It distresses me awfully... are you able to say that you need help but aren't able to be admitted right now?

I understand the threat you feel regarding your ex. You are not stupid or weak. An illness is just that, and unfortunately, mental illness is good at clouding over the better days ahead. Please, if you're able, continue with getting help, and insist on it being ON YOUR TERMS. If you're not able to be away from your children, tell them so. It's more important that they know what's going on.

Sorry if I'm too forward, but I hear a tone in your post that really resonates with me. Please take good care.

pc

"Plays well with others"