I agree with shortandcute, totally not rambling, it makes total sense to me

I've found myself thinking the same thing.

I just look at people and see them going about their lives. Finishing school, working 40 hours a week, doing something that would normally send me deep into depression without a drop of sweat and doing all of that with being stable at the same time. A lot of my friends are almost done with college and I'm not even really close. It's just hard to deal with school and staying stable at the moment (But once I finally get to a stable time in my life I hope to go back). I recently went to a bar with some friends and there where tons of people dancing, talking to each other, flirting around, meeting new people and I found myself thinking “Why can't I do that? Why do my emotions have to make it so hard?”. If I where to do something like that I'd go into a panic attack and it would just be a trigger for depression or other goodies that come with being bipolar. That or I'd just be so down and depressed that I couldn't get myself to do anything like that. It's like you said Lobster, emotions have a huge impact. I often wonder what it would be like to not have to deal with all of the characteristics of being bipolar. I could maybe be almost done with school, I could have a job, I could go out and meet new people, heck maybe I could have a stable relationship right now. But you know, as much as it sucks to deal with all the emotions from being bipolar there are defiantly positives. Without it I wouldn't have gotten so into psychopharmacology, I might not understand as clearly as I do now about the suffering in this world. Not to say I never understood the suffering in this world, but dealing with everything makes me understand it more. It also shows me that everything has meaning and an impact. Sort of like someone with Hoarding disorder, to them every little thing no matter how small, or “trashy” it may seem is meaningful. We understand the full picture (in a manner of speaking). We understand that something small can have a huge impact. We understand how hard the world can be, and there for I think we have a big chance on changing something in this world. Once we're stable, once we're on the right treatment, and once we've conquered our challenges, we can take what we've learned from these horrible experiences and do something that matters, and become better people. We're offered a wonderful opportunity to learn... even though it's a tough class. But once we get our A+, we can go out and make a difference.

That's my rant I guess haha