I have a interest in disturbing things too I will read about ways people have died throughout history and there have been times where I will be watching a tv show about the holocaust or other horrible things that show images and video clips of death and stuff and I wont look away when other people do.it really scares me sometimes and makes me feel like a unhuman freak but I also dont feel much emotion towards it either other people will be crying or scared I will just be watching feeling nothing.it makes me feel unhuman. I care about others but its hard for me to feel certain emotions from things.Horror movies dont scare me either.because I am used to seeing horrible things all the time from my hallucinations.I feel bad for others I can feel compassion I care but sometimes its hard for me to express or feel my emotions.I have been told I am emotionally flat and dont get excited like if a car almost hits me I dont even freak out or feel anything from it other people would be screaming and then relieved they werent hit.I dont feel like this all the time sometimes my emotions are totally normal I just go through phases of where I FEEL nothing literally.