Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting4
Mine told me things during the relationship too, that I look back on and realize...he was being honest (and awful) but I dismissed them as my misunderstanding, or being to harsh. He once told me he enjoyed manipulating people. (for some reason I ignored this...and to this day I don't know the excuse I made for it. But I made one) He told me things he'd done to treat people in his life (former wife, children) shabbily.....distantly, and dismissively----ahhh but THIS one I remember thinking "he's making a blue print for me to follow...warning me this is what he'll do to me". Again I ignored it. Swept it away on a curl of curiosity and imagination. And guess what? He did the exact same thing to me.
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Mine said the exact same thing to me. I told myself he didn't mean it he was just trying to make himself seem important/intimidating- which in a way I guess is exactly what he was doing.
Thank you.
Sometimes I have these moments where everything is okay but then I remember how I let him get away with something and get crazy angry at myself for my stupidity.
I feel a lot like I didn't just open the door for him I threw rose petals to welcome him in lol
Knowing that it was my own vulnerabilities that allowed him to hurt me the way he did only makes things worse.
Honestly I am now so utterly terrified of relationships the idea of being in one makes me want to throw up. (Which is a bonus. I think I'd be like a chum bucket to any sharks out there right now.
)