Your T takes care of herself. That isn't your job nor can you really serve in the "roles" you are wanting to insert yourself into. You cannot be the love in her life, and as someone who lost a sister, i can promise you that you cannot serve in that role either. Keep focused on the actual work you need to do in therapy. It seems like you spend a great deal of time focused on her and this fantasy you have about her and it seems to keep you very distracted from the focus on you.