Great questions - I think I overwhelmed myself by expecting myself to be happy, relaxed and easy in my friend's company. I'm just starting newer friendships - one of my goals for this year is to not let the depression beat me into isolation, so I wasn't able to tell her I was depressed...but I could have said that I wasn't feeling well. I felt pressured to be perfect for her, and obviously I couldn't be and she doesn't expect that either - that's pressure I put on me not her.

I went out for the drink, and it was better than expected - I think I was so angry that I actually didn't worry about having to be perfect and was just me!

So that's me pretty much done socially for a day or two, pretty pleased to have some time to myself. But I also know I have events coming up so I won't be too isolated.

I haven't self harmed today! Just need to break that cycle.

Thank you for your support, it means a lot.