I am sorry you are still struggling with this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rolan86
I'm sending her an email asking her to stay in touch tomorrow. She ignored my email about asking for feedback on my final, and now this will be my last attempt. If she ignores it, well, so it ends. At least I will have closure, letting her know that I do want to keep in contact with her. If she rejects me or just plain ignores me, then I will move on and erase all my emails with her, and block her out of my mind. I am done having my happiness dependent on her approval. It ends tomorrow.
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What you are saying is that you are done having your happiness dependent on her approval... right after this one last attempt at getting some approval from her. This will not be "closure." Either she will ignore your e-mail, and you will feel hurt and ruminate and obsess; it will not erase your feelings or give you any real sense of an ending. Or (and I hesitate to throw this out there, because you tend to hold onto any hope that she will continue to be in your life) she will respond positively, and it will only make your infatuation worse and perpetuate the cycle. You must make a choice to stop feeding this infatuation and to sit with the uncomfortable feelings.
I also recommend that you do some Googling about the dopamine rushes that people get when they're infatuated. This may be enlightening to you in terms of the "highs" you feel when you get attention from your crushes, and the yearning you feel when you don't get their attention. This might be a place to start:
The Chemistry of Love, Pt 2 ? Addicted to Love
It's also not uncommon to feel down after completing a major life milestone, like graduating. One theory behind this is that your brain has been pumping out dopamine in the run-up to the event, and then when it stops pumping out so much once the event is over, you end up feeling depressed and let-down. You're at a particularly vulnerable time right now. There's more reading out there on this as well. Try this article:
Life Goes On: Coping with Letdown After a Big Event | Divine Caroline
Good luck to you. As you can gather, my own two cents is that it's a bad idea for you to try to prolong communication. Sever ties now and accept the bad feelings. They will not be here forever.