Maybe this is just partly a way for me to try coping with the letdown of graduation. I experienced the same thing after high school graduation, where I became very depressed about all this graduation anticipation and then just a long period of time moping around not knowing what's next. And now I'm back there again. I part I know this is actually a reason for why I am trying to keep up with this professor. I knew that life back at home would be quite rough (arguing parents, a father who is always on my cases and making me feel like a failure, my sick old dog which is making me sad) and I just wanted some sort of positive thing to thing about, some idea of escape. Keeping in contact with this professor seemed like just that. Sort of like in the graduate, where Ben has no idea what to do with his life so he just ends up looking for some romance to distract him from the reality of really having no idea what he's doing with his life. I'm in that same position, and I can see that being a cause of my infatuation. I just wanted to have one positive thing to hold on to, something nice to think about when I'm moping around my house confused and depressed. I seriously have no idea what I am doing right now. I am apathetically looking for a job, apathetically looking for internships, and slacking in preparing for graduate school. I can honestly say that at this point I have no idea what I want. I majored in a subject I am not passionate about, and the process of looking for work in that field is just emotionally exhausting and discouraging. So yes, I can understand this being a reason why I would want to stay in touch with my professor.