When you are friends and one gets married and gets pregnant, that is a big strain on the relationship for all involved. These are major life changes that absolutely threatens the friendship to some extent. I have 3 kids and had single or newly married friends when I was pregnant with my first, and it was tough. I can understand your fears and I can also understand the concerns of your friend. However, I do think that if you are truly close and have a good relationship, then she could stand to be a little kinder. Calling you an "apocolyptic self centered narcissist" sounds over the top to me and I'm hoping it was the mood swings of pregnancy that caused her to be that mean (it happens since pregnancy is very taxing emotionally and physically). It sounds like she is frustrated and scared about the changes that are happening too.

I will say that then are times when, as friends, we have to fake it for the sake of other's feelings, and this is one of those times. I don't think anyone will judge you based on the lone fact that you don't want kids, but if you have an overall negative attitude about kids around a friend that has a new baby, it will strain the friendship. This is not even remotely the same as sharing interests and hobbies, this is about someone's family and their life. If you are disinterested and even resentful, then yes the relationship will suffer. A newborn infant is all consuming and will take priority over everything else in a new mom's life. She will not be able to be there for you if her baby needs her, and she may feel bad about that. I have a sister in law and a friend who both chose not to have kids, and our relationships are fine. It's true we spend less time together, but that's because of different obligations and out of our control. All parents are kid absorbed at first, that is natural and something to prepare for. New parents don't usually intentionally exclude or shut out their friends, but it can happen since a child is such a huge adjustment. But with time most people make a conscious effort to keep some balance in their lives. So friendships can wax and wane but if they are strong, will last. It is definitely something to talk about with your friend and if possible, I would let some things slide right now and if you can, try to show your concerns in a way that she will understand but that won't cause her to worry. If you need to pm me for advice about what to say, feel free to. I understand how hard this can be.