Hi gals, some of you saw my post last night. I had another session today and somehow I went from 2 sessions per week at the suggestion of my T last week, back to weekly or even every other week.

Long story short, there was an insurance inquiry which I'm not sure why, I have not exceeded my totals sessions for this plan year. My T called me last night after I saw him yesterday to tell me. Today, we discussed reducing sessions and I finally admitted that I don't want to see these end. He knows I'm attached but kind of avoids the subject when I bring it up <shrug>. Maybe it makes him uncomfortable, I don't know. All I know is feeling humiliated is starting to get to me.

He didn't say much. I'm not sure what I wanted him to say. Well, maybe "I never want you to leave" or "it's okay to feel the way you do"...he just mostly smiled and nodded. After a year of this relationship? Maybe I'm reading into it again?

Oh, well. I've cried for two hours straight. I somehow have attached myself to a person that is unavailable as a friend and apparently a therapist.

I'm not sure how we go from his suggesting 2x per week for a little while (just last week) to where we are today. We talked about how I'm not better yet (last week) but then today he said I am better. He did ask me what I thought but I was kind of out of words. Maybe it is an insurance thing or maybe he thinks we've done all we can do?

I see him next week and I'll tell him every other week is fine then. I am drained and feel that if this is what he wants why fight it? I see my pdoc tomorrow so we'll see how I feel after I sleep tonight.

I hope you all had a better day than I did...I wish I could be as inspiring as you all are from your sessions...