That is not how I interpret it when my T says "what is normal?". Quite the opposite, in fact - nothing is "normal", because everybody is unique. And the times he's said it are when I have said "I am sure x is a normal thing to do/say", and T will point out that when I try to normalise e.g. emotional abuse, I am in fact running away from any attempt I could otherwise make to fix the situation.

He has never said it in connection with things I do or thoughts I have, only about things that are done to me. That's an important difference, I think. When I express thoughts or wishes of mine, which I think are weird or abnormal, T sometimes says "that is human", which is much better than saying that it's "normal".