
May 29, 2014, 04:21 PM
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Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 1,103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelGirl
You know what I think it is? My T and I were talking about something called "The Five Love Languages". It's sort of how people give and receive affection, gratitude, connection, care, and love. The love languages are:
Quality Time - spending lots of time with someone means a lot to them
Gift giving - giving (and receiving) gifts means a lot to them
Acts of service - doing things for someone and having things done for them means a lot to them
Words of Affirmation - being verbally thanked and praised means a lot to them
Physical Touch - being touched (non-sexually, such as a hug, hand on shoulder, comforting pat, etc...) means a lot to them
And I was telling her that my love languages are touch and words of affirmation. Well, obviously, there's plenty of words in therapy. But she said that now that she knows that one of my top two is touch, she will make especially certain that she does things like gives me hugs at the end of sessions.
I sort of felt like after that session I had told her too much, like she knew how to more easily get past my defenses. And like I didn't want her to care about me by trying to make sure she did things that accommodated me like that. And I think that's a major reason I feel like this now. I think I am still freaking out about that, and about how much just the comment that she would try to show me love and care in the ways I receive it best meant to me. It makes me anxious, and yet makes me feel important.
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This is just lovely - what an amazing T you have. I am so envious! She really sounds attuned and empathetic. I also relate to your fears about vulnerability but I think you will grow so much if you allow her to show you the love and care you refer to. This is such a special thing. You are obviously very important to her and she obviously cares very much for you. I am sure this will be very healing although scary. Keep us posted. 
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