i do. im afraid to say why i think so cuz i know everyone here doesnt share my beliefs so im reluctant to say why. but i can say even when im sick and well i dont believe i have it but when i look back at my past actions and stuff i believe i do. but it seems so like you said "doesnt feel real". i have a hard time grasping schizophrenia and i keep reading the basic things about it. voices paranoia cognitive symptoms etc but it seems like i just cant get it how i have it but i do.