I know how I got here. A life time full of abuse and pain. What I don't understand is how to get out. Therapy does not work for me. It never makes me feel better, I usually end up feeling stupid for letting someone in. I am failing college, which my family is paying a small fortune for. i have been depressed i think since i was at least 12. I feel worthless. My dad is betting on me failing in school and just waiting to rub it in my face. when I am alone at night I don't sleep, it is 6 in the morning and I havn't gone to sleep yet. I am in a relationship with the only person who has ever truly known me or loved me and I am ruining his life by clinging on so hard that he has barely anything left but me. I don't know what to do or how to cope. I am a student and I don't have the money for a psychiatrist right now. I am running out of ways to handle my depression.