I'll try to keep things short and simple. Forgive me if I go too long by habit (or go too short & not enough info should I actually accomplish my goal to keep short ;-)

Husband & I were born and raised in two totally different worlds, with different values and expectations. We have different lifestyles and personalities. In some ways, though, we can be alike, but that's not an everyday occurence. I'm not sure that we were ever meant to be more than just friends. We have two children, a 7 year old and a 15 month old baby. When I was pregnant with our second, it was a very difficult time. During my third month he said some things that caused me to build an "emotional wall" in our relationship. I developed a fear of intamacy with him--especially anything more than a hug. I don't really even hug him unless he initiates it. I did once recently though when he was leaving on a 5-day trip. He has shown sexual interest recently hoping it meant "kiss & make up", but it's all still just too fast for me. I allowed the hugs but nothing more. Somehow after everything, I think that maybe the only way we <u>might</u> be able to stay married could be for us to separate. We could live each on our own, but share some expenses like childcare, etc. I was thinking that maybe a situation like this might force us change, and to learn more about each other. It would be like starting over from scratch. We had little time with each other prior to our marriage. I left for the Army two weeks after I met him (while visiting an out-of-state friend). We met again four months later for about one week. After that, we met two months later where I was stationed in Germany for a few days. Only a week or so later, I was getting out of the Army (long story) and flying back to the US to marry him. We were married (just the two of us giggling, nobody else) only a day and a half after I got out of the Army.

Counseling has been done a few times in the past, cancelled each after a short time because of husband's concerns about financial costs. He said that he is willing to try it again if I want to. (Do I want to?) We are now paying for our 7 year old to see a psych because of her problems. I'm not sure that either of us really has any confidence in this relationship lasting many years. We've already been married since 12/92.

What do you all think? Any other ideas or advice?