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I've cried for two hours straight. I somehow have attached myself to a person that is unavailable as a friend and apparently a therapist.

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I'm so sorry, almedafan. ((((hugs)))) You must feel like your T is pushing you away, and also bewildered, because you don't know why. Is it because he thinks you are better? Or is it because insurance told him he had to cut back your sessions? It would be hard to think maybe he is not being honest with you about the reason. Can you ask him if he truly thinks you are better or is it just insurance? It's not fair to you to not have the true reason.

I had a doctor once who would not give me a referral to the eye doctor (I had not seen an eye doctor in 8 years). She stalled and made excuses and finally told me she had been making too many referrals in her practice and might be dropped as a preferred provider by insurance if she didn't cut back, so that's why she wouldn't let me go see the eye doctor. Well, I had no respect for that reason since to me, my health came first, but at least I knew the score. Even though I appreciated her honesty, I dropped her like a hot potato. I hope your T is not compromising your healthcare due to pressure from the insurance company.

Another thing I wonder is how can your T think you are better if you are still seeing a pdoc? You are on anti-depressants, for gosh sake, which means you're depressed. Duh, T! She's not better! I don't understand how insurance could pay the pdoc to continue to prescribe drugs and not realize you are not better. Studies have shown that if people are going to use drugs to fight their depression, it is more effective to use them in combination with therapy. The insurance company should know that.

Sorry, going off on a rant.

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He knows I'm attached but kind of avoids the subject when I bring it up . Maybe it makes him uncomfortable, I don't know.

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It sounds like he is reluctant to engage in the transference with you. This is the sort of issue that T's often consult with their supervisors or colleagues on. Could a trusted colleague give him advice on this issue? I'm not sure if it is appropriate to bring that up to him, but maybe you could mention your concern about that to your pdoc and she would have some insights or talk to T about it.

Good luck. How did the meeting with the pdoc go?