Hello, frustrated67, and welcome to Psych Central! My husband and I both have depression from time to time, so I understand.

How does he respond when you try to sit near to him, hug him, etc.? Does he react negatively? If not, then maybe you could at least get that from him.

But he might get upset if you push for sex. Alas, antidepressants often reduce sexual responses. Less libido, less ability to perform, less ability to have an orgasm. Just what depressives need to help them feel better! And, of course, not helpful to the spouse.

Is he getting treatment for his depression?

Maybe in the meantime you could ask him to hold you while you take care of your own needs. And hug a pillow, etc.

My thoughts, anyway. Let's see what other folks say.