I'm a nurse too and I finally had to retire from clinical nursing late last year, as I felt I was unsafe at any speed. I've had too many BP episodes and am on a substantial number of medications, all of which has turned my memory to Swiss cheese.

But I would be far worse off if I didn't have a wonderful psychiatrist, who not only manages my meds but does therapy as well. It's taken a couple of years but he's taught me to believe in myself at long last. I don't know where I'd be now if I hadn't gotten help. Just because we are nurses doesn't mean we always know what's best for us. If you don't feel comfortable seeing someone close to your workplace (and I don't blame you there), find someone from another facility or health system. Your mental health is too important to let go.....please get some help. It will take time, but you'll be SO much better off.