Thanks Alison - you're exactly right. Maybe I'm being selfish in that I'm wanting things to work out my way and getting upset when they don't. Had a visit today and went well. She was getting tired, though. Her medicine makes her sleepy. The day before she was sleeping and did spend some time with dad. Rather awkward as I've always been way closer to mom and find it hard coming up with things to talk about with dad. A lot of awkward silences, but I did work up the courage to give him a hug before I left today. Something I usually don't do. And it felt good. That is definitely true - it's best to say how we feel before it's too late. I have a really hard time with that, so this experience is doing me some good, too.