Hello all,

Haven't been here for a few months due to my pdoc and ex-partner forbidding psychcentral for me. My pdoc is in Mexico so she wasn't familiar with it and didn't realize how helpful it actually is for people.
Anyway, I'm not at home in Mexico (maybe permanently) and am visiting my parents in WA state. So I'm able to view psychcentral now.
I got another contract job and start in about a month but as my screen name suggests, I always lose my jobs. I feel like I have to break through a brick wall with my head. Obviously no matter how hard I hit my head against the wall, it won't break. I work in a stressful field but I do believe that I'm good at what I do. It's been so long that I've had a good run with a job (years and years) that I'm so stressed about it. I'm a nurse btw.
I also have been feeling depressed lately. I take my meds like always but with my family I go through depressive episodes. I love my parents and was excited to visit them earlier this year but being here reveals to me how much older they are and "slow" at doing things. I feel like I'm a burden and also that I'm not going to ever do good to where they're proud of me. My Mom is over 70 and I know she won't live forever. At this point, I know I would break if my Mom died because of how close I am to her. I need to become strong fast emotionally or I will spiral even more out of control.
My biggest thing I want to do now is to not financially be a drain to my parents. If I work I make good money, and steady working is what I need to be doing. I know some others here on this forum have the same problem. Anyone gotten over it? How do they handle the daily stress of working an important job like healthcare? Being a nurse is all I know how to do and I'm pretty sure changing careers wouldn't help me. I can imagine myself just as apt to miss work and get fired for flipping hamburgers as I would be as a nurse.
Thanks all for reading.