Alison,

Thank you for sticking with me these past few days. I need some time to digest your words and also the thought that - maybe the inevitable result in having a strong inner self is that it can't be engaged ALL of the time. Expecting that I can just understand things and have perfect confidence all of the time may be a little unreasonable. I guess the key is to always keep in mind that I have the ability to achieve these things, and to not get discouraged when my inner core has to rest. It's a pattern that echoed in nature as well - any system where one area is highly concentrated is guaranteed to also have an area with low concentration. I guess it's like the two poles of a magnet or some kind of liquid that needs to be shaken before use. Both areas (the concentrated and diluted) are still part of the whole, and I guess the reward for surviving the diluted is to have that concentrated area waiting to pop out.

It's hard though - I still have this area in my mind that's covered in shadows. I've been slowly thinking for some time now, and I believe that I know what subject is covered by this dark veil. It might be the reason for the speed in which I "forget" that my inner strength exists. I'm not ready to face that now - while I am still getting used to the idea of concentration/dilution - but the extra time might give me more ideas about how to slowly dissect the shadows.

Thank you so much, and hopefully someone else on these forums will be influenced by your words,
-Pkey