The thought of talking to someone is scary. First of all, congrats to you for taking the step to talk to all of us. It is easier for many people to talk to people online because they don't know you, but it is still talking to people. You did a great job!

I wonder if you would be willing to print this thread and find a therapist and give them the paper to read?

Anxiety, from what I have been told, have read, and have experienced, is caused by living in the future and/or trying to control something you have no control over. Talk to yourself. Let yourself know that it is okay to be scared but that you need to work through the fear and you need to take care of yourself. Tell yourself that it will be okay. Then continue to do this and have a session with a therapist.

Look up therapists in your area online. Many will have email addresses listed. Copy and paste what you wrote here, the entire thing including your fear of talking to them. See what they can suggest.

These are just suggestions, what you do has to be your choice.

Be safe,

Celtic