I hope you feel better soon. I do think smoking the weed may be a a problem for you, but i also myself think weed isn't that bad, look at the medical side of smoking weed. They are thinking of doing medical marijuana in NY state where i live now, who knows it may be something you could use to keep yourself motivated and stable. I know alot of people that smoked weed in my life, and it seems like they are better on it than off of it. Also i think you should see a doc and t for counseling.