Welcome Henrietta,

I am sorry you're feeling as lost as you seem to be, and I wish there was more I could offer in the way of advice. I do understand what you're feeling, and I think your concerns are valid where your bf feels the need to 'pretend' to be his former girlfriend. That is odd, to say the least. I'm also not certain why she even gets to BE the topic of conversation when the two of you have been together for over a year now. Do they work together? And I certainly can understand it having a go at your self-esteem when he does talk about the two of you in comparison, as well as the whole 'feminine' issue.

That said, I really do think you should talk to him about it...maybe not on skype, but in person. You have valid concerns, and just because you're not sure if they're all in your head, so to speak, does not make them invalid. I do want to assure you tho, that just because he gets turned on by the idea of being feminine whilst making love, that does NOT make you masculine by default! I am quite feminine by anyones imagination, yet was told by a man (co-worker when I was in my twenties) who loved to dress in womens clothing when he went out (it made him feel sexy) that I turned him on immensely. I was flattered (also had a bf, btw) and as I hadn't much experiance with this, I was surprised as I too thought he would naturally be turned on by a more masculine woman.

We talked and I found out that nothing was further from the truth. So please don't let you mind make assumptions that may not be true. Do consider talking to him about it. Perhaps with a couples counsellor. Do you have a therapist yourself that you can speak to, as well? I'm concerned about your cutting because of your hurt.

There are other forums on this site where members might be able to help you more with this issue between your bf and yourself. I wish I could be more help, but my experiance has been limited in this area.

Please know we care here....and (reading your status) please don't give up on this site so soon!