I know this can easily be taken as only words, but you must forgive yourself. You can't change anything in the past no matter how much you want, but you can change the future. Take it step by step and love the precious person that you are. So many people not suffering from mental challenges fail out of college too. We are here to continue to provide encouragement. It sounds like you are making great strides. You can do it. You just have to believe in yourself and try to throw out the self doubt. I wish you the best!